Profiles in Crazy: Five of this election season’s most eccentric candidates

This is an article about craziness. “Passion without logic” is not how Ernest Hemingway described it, but I think he would have. Among the candidates for this year’s midterm elections are individuals who have claimed AIDS is a government conspiracy, dressed up like Nazis, and “dabbled in witchcraft.” The field is overrun with crazies this year, but I will attempt to highlight the cream of the crazy crop by sharing the stories of five candidates.

Ben Quayle: The Immoral “Historian”

“Barack Obama is the worst President in history,” a bold statement by notorious non-historian and Republican nominee for Arizona’s 3rd Congressional District, Ben Quayle. In his provocative ad, the son of former Vice President Dan Quayle slaps U.S. News and World Report in the face (the renowned publication ranks Richard Nixon as the worst president). The ad continues with another inflammatory claim devoid of logic: Quayle compares drug cartels in Mexico to the “tax cartel” in D.C. But the ultimate irony is in Quayle’s declaration that he was “raised right.”

Shortly after Quayle announced his bid, Nik Richie, founder of TheDirty.com, discussed Quayle’s relationship with the social networking site, which features graphic accounts of drunken, sexual escapades and photos of half-naked women waiting for Richie’s approval as to whether he would have sex with them. Under the alias Brock Landers (an abusive porn star in Boogie Nights), Quayle posted, “My moral compass is so broken I can barely find the parking lot.” He may not have a working moral compass, but the least I can hope is that he can spell the word potato – unlike his father.

Carl Paladino: The Homophobic Porn Addict

Enter the “Empire State of Mind.” As if a governor who spent over $15,000 on prostitutes wasn’t bad enough, New York has again selected the craziest of the crazy. Republican gubernatorial nominee Carl Paladino boasts business experience as the owner of a construction and development company. But “business experience” is a flexible term. For Paladino, it means he is accustomed to forwarding e-mails that depict racism, sex, and bestiality to friends and co-workers. The e-mails, released by wnymedia.net, contained pornography, a depiction of President Obama and the First Lady as a pimp and a prostitute, racist de-motivational posters, and a video of a woman having sex with a horse.

Paladino’s latest bout of crazy came in the form of comments about homosexuality. In a recent speech given to leaders from New York Orthodox Jewish communities, he said, “I just think my children and your children will be much better off and much more successful getting married and raising a family; and I don’t want them to be brainwashed into thinking that homosexuality is an valid or successful option. It’s not.” Paladino even even attacked his opponent Andrew Cuomo for lacking morals: “Andrew’s actions of taking his kids to a gay pride parade defines him as a guy who is kind of out of the box when it comes to family values.” Rebuttal: at least Cuomo doesn’t have a mistress.

Alvin Greene: The Sleeping Giant

Alvin Greene, the Democratic nominee for South Carolina’s open Senate seat, is the ultimate underdog candidate. An unemployed veteran honorably but involuntarily discharged from the military, Greene lives with and takes care of his father. He aspires to create a universal healthcare system, provide free university education, and stop free trade and home foreclosures. That works, but problems arise when his candidacy’s legitimacy comes into question.

First, Greene faces charges of felony obscenity for allegedly showing an 18-year-old college student pornographic images in a computer lab and then allegedly asking if they could go to her room. In an interview with CNN anchor Don Lemon, Greene avoided all related questions by saying “no comment” or “my lawyer is dealing with that.” Lemon even questioned the state of Greene’s mental health: “Two lawmakers from your state have concern that you have a mental impairment. What do you have to say about that?” Greene’s response? “I say that back to them then; they are the knuckleheads.” The rest of the interview continued on in painful agony and frustration as Greene attempted to answer simple questions but could hardly form sentences. Greene may or may not have a mental disorder, but the story of his campaign and his unformulated speech sure qualify him as a little bit crazy.

Sharron Angle: The Conspiracy Theorist

Sharron Angle, Nevada’s Republican U.S. Senate nominee, lacks tact and reasoned logic and has advocated using “Second Amendment remedies” if things do not go the Tea Party’s way at the ballot box. Another case in point: her comments that “our economy is just being water-boarded here. We are being tortured, and it is all Harry Reid’s fault.” Almost as offensive as Angle’s confusing rhetoric are her actual policy positions, which include U.S. resignation from the UN, abolishing the Department of Education, phasing out social security, and shutting down the IRS.

Her campaign ads are as bad as, if not worse than, her policy standpoints. In an attack ad, Angle says, “Harry Reid voted to use taxpayer dollars to pay for Viagra for convicted child molesters and sex offenders.” Angle argues that because Reid didn’t amend a bill’s erectile dysfunction subsidy provision to exclude convicted sex offenders, he therefore endorses appropriating federal expenditures toward supplying sex offenders with Viagra. This is passion without logic, but the insanity does not stop here. Behold Angle’s claim about Sharia law, or Islamic law, taking root in Dearborn, MI, and Frankford, TX. Believing we are in danger, she suggested that Americans bear arms in response to this “militant terrorist situation.” The mayor of Dearborn responded, “I am deeply distressed that you have been misled about our community and the way that we conduct our affairs. Muslims have been practicing their faith in our community for almost 90 years without incident or conflict.” The mayor of Frankford was unable to comment; the town no longer exists.

Christine O’Donnell: The Pious Witch

Christine O’Donnell, the GOP’s choice for Delaware’s Senate seat, is quite possibly a perfect candidate: she is a likable, polite, and pretty working-class girl. In a campaign ad she says, “I am not a witch… I’m nothing that you’ve heard… I’m you.”

Beautifully orchestrated campaign message aside, O’Donnell might be the craziest candidate of all time.

Case study #1: mice. In a 2007 episode of The O’Reilly Factor, O’Donnell discussed research in cloning: “American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains.” Case study #2: China. The Associated Press reports that during a debate in Delaware’s 2006 Senate primary, O’Donnell said that China had a “carefully thought out and strategic plan to take over America” and that she possessed classified information from Christian missionaries there. Case study #3: masturbation. In an interview on MTV’s “Sex in the 90s” series, O’Donnell said that having lust in your heart is adultery and that you can’t masturbate without lust. Public service announcement: masturbation is now adultery. Finally, on an episode of Bill Maher’s 90s television talk show Politically Incorrect, O’Donnell was presented with the question “What if you were hiding Jewish people in your house during WWII and Hitler asked you if you were? Would you lie to him?” Her answer? No: “You never have to practice deceit.”

The 2010 midterm election season has proven extremely entertaining and somewhat frightening. Americans are uncharacteristically involved and in tune with an election that typically displays fewer moments of theatrics and grandeur. But let us at least hope that we the people of the United States understand just how crazy these candidates are. Do we really want legislators fighting terrorists in towns that don’t exist or regulating mice with human brains? Or can we accept that our politicians can be boring as long as they are sane? I cast my vote for the latter.

Yo, Brian Sutter is a junior, Government major at CMC. He enjoys writing about environmental issues, Supreme Court cases, financial reform, and political strategy. He welcomes debaters and challengers, and loves academic discourse along with long walks on the beach, Alicia Keys, and flowers. But don't take him for a pinko commie; he fears no tea partier, fiscal conservative, anarchist, or liberal windbag. His arrogant, superfluous quote meant to jokingly aggravate readers: "If you even dream of beating me, you better wake up and apologize!" -Muhammad Ali


44 Responses to “Profiles in Crazy: Five of this election season’s most eccentric candidates”

  1. Bob Smythe says:

    What’s “funny” is that most of these candidates have a good shot at winning. Sharron Angle is ahead in the polls, Miss O’Donnell is within striking distance, Mr. Quayle has a good shot and Mr. Paladino, while a dark horse, may surprise everyone. The only one with little or no chance is also the only Democrat, Mr. Greene, who was NOT the party’s choice in any way, shape or form. Funny that Alan Grayson, incumbent Democratic congressman in Florida, whom many consider mentally unstable, didn’t make your cute little list.

  2. Kayla says:

    Miss O’Donnell is within striking distance?! That couldn’t be farther from the truth: http://elections.nytimes.com/2010/forecasts/senate/delaware

  3. Brian Sutter says:

    Sharron Angle as deemed by the latest Real Clear Politics average say Sharron Angle has a 1 point lead. Andrew Cuomo HAS A 27 POINT LEAD ON CARL PALADINO as deemed by the latest Real Clear Politics average. The Real Clear Politics poll averages come from multiple polling reports conducted by gallup, ramussen, and news papers like The New York Times and is deemed a very reliable indicator by both Professors Busch and Pitney at Claremont McKenna College. Kayla has already done the reporting on O’Donnell (Coons leads by 14 points) and Dan Quayle is leading by 11 points in one of Arizona’s most conservative districts.

    That aside, the point of this article is to reveal the wild and untrue claims these candidates have made. It’s not funny, it’s scary. I would prefer no one democrat or republican share any of the qualities these candidates have. I am using their own words and actions, if that seems funny that is the conclusion you have reached.

  4. Great post but I was wanting to know if you could write a litte more on this topic?
    I’d be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bit further.
    Bless you!

  5. Excellent blog here! Also your site loads up fast! What host are you using?

    Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my site loaded up as fast as yours lol

  6. Hey there, You’ve done a fantastic job. I’ll certainly digg
    it and personally recommend to my friends. I am sure they will be benefited from this website.

  7. Hi, I wish for to subscribe for this website to get most recent
    updates, so where can i do it please assist.

  8. You ought to take part in a contest for one of the finest sites online.
    I most certainly will highly recommend this blog!

  9. whoah this blog is great i really like reading your posts.
    Keep up the good work! You recognize, many people are hunting round for this information, you can aid
    them greatly.

  10. Hi there, after reading this amazing piece of writing i am also cheerful to share my experience here with colleagues.

  11. each time i used to read smaller articles or reviews which as well clear
    their motive, and that is also happening with this post which
    I am reading now.

  12. I’ve learn a few excellent stuff here. Certainly value bookmarking for revisiting.
    I wonder how much attempt you put to make the sort of great informative site.

  13. I’m not that much of a online reader to be honest but your sites really nice, keep it up!
    I’ll go ahead and bookmark your website to come back down the road.
    Cheers

  14. I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought
    this post was great. I do not know who you are but definitely you are going to a famous blogger if you are not already ;) Cheers!

  15. Hi there! I’m at work browsing your blog from my new iphone 3gs!
    Just wanted to say I love reading your blog and look
    forward to all your posts! Keep up the outstanding work!

  16. When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get four e-mails with the
    same comment. Is there any way you can remove people from that
    service? Cheers!

  17. Hi! I know this is kind of off topic but
    I was wondering if you knew where I could locate a captcha plugin for
    my comment form? I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having trouble finding one?
    Thanks a lot!

  18. I’ve learn a few excellent stuff here. Certainly worth bookmarking for revisiting.
    I wonder how a lot attempt you put to make this kind of magnificent informative web site.

  19. Hi, I want to subscribe for this web site to take latest updates, thus where can i do
    it please help out.

  20. Very rapidly this web page will be famous among all blog people, due to it’s good content

  21. Right here is the perfect blog for anyone who would like to understand this topic.
    You know so much its almost tough to argue with you (not
    that I personally will need to…HaHa). You definitely put a brand new
    spin on a topic which has been discussed for ages. Wonderful
    stuff, just excellent!

  22. Hello very cool web site!! Guy .. Beautiful ..

    Wonderful .. I’ll bookmark your site and take the feeds also?

    I’m happy to search out numerous useful info right here in the publish, we want
    work out more techniques on this regard, thanks for sharing.

    . . . . .

  23. Very good blog! Do you have any helpful hints for aspiring writers?
    I’m planning to start my own website soon but I’m a little lost
    on everything. Would you recommend starting with a free platform
    like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many options out there that I’m totally overwhelmed ..
    Any suggestions? Thank you!

  24. My family members every time say that I am wasting my time here at net, but I know I am getting knowledge daily by reading thes good content.

  25. I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but your sites really nice,
    keep it up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your site to come back in the future.
    All the best

  26. Every weekend i used to go to see this site, for the reason that i want enjoyment,
    as this this site conations truly nice funny information too.

  27. Genuinely when someone doesn’t know then its up to other visitors
    that they will help, so here it takes place.

  28. Why visitors still make use of to read news papers when in this technological world everything is existing on web?

  29. You’re so awesome! I do not suppose I’ve read something like this before.
    So great to discover someone with original thoughts on this subject matter.

    Seriously.. many thanks for starting this up. This website is something
    that is required on the web, someone with some originality!

  30. I’m really enjoying the theme/design of your weblog. Do you ever run into any web browser
    compatibility problems? A few of my blog readers have complained about my
    site not operating correctly in Explorer but looks great in Opera.
    Do you have any solutions to help fix this problem?

  31. Hello there, just became aware of your blog through Google,
    and found that it is truly informative. I am gonna watch out
    for brussels. I’ll appreciate if you continue this in future.
    A lot of people will be benefited from your writing.

    Cheers!

  32. Nice blog here! Also your site loads up fast! What host are you using?

    Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my website loaded up as
    quickly as yours lol

  33. It’s a pity you don’t have a donate button! I’d without a doubt donate
    to this excellent blog! I suppose for now i’ll settle
    for book-marking and adding your RSS feed to my Google
    account. I look forward to fresh updates and will share this website with my Facebook group.
    Talk soon!

  34. My spouse and I stumbled over here coming from a different page
    and thought I may as well check things out.

    I like what I see so i am just following you. Look forward to exploring your web page repeatedly.

  35. It is in reality a great and useful piece of info. I’m satisfied that you simply shared this helpful
    info with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.

  36. Hello every one, here every one is sharing such experience, so it’s good to read this weblog, and I
    used to pay a quick visit this website everyday.

  37. I’m really enjoying the theme/design of your
    website. Do you ever run into any browser
    compatibility problems? A number of my blog visitors have complained
    about my site not working correctly in Explorer but looks great in Opera.
    Do you have any recommendations to help fix this issue?

  38. Do you mind if I quote a few of your posts as long as I provide credit and
    sources back to your weblog? My blog site is in the exact same
    area of interest as yours and my users would certainly benefit from a lot of the information you present here.
    Please let me know if this ok with you. Thank you!

  39. I’m not sure exactly why but this blog is loading very slow for me.
    Is anyone else having this problem or is it a problem on my end?
    I’ll check back later and see if the problem still
    exists.

  40. I am actually grateful to the owner of this site who has shared this wonderful piece of
    writing at at this time.

  41. Hi friends, its great paragraph concerning tutoringand
    fully defined, keep it up all the time.

  42. Have you ever considered about adding a little bit
    more than just your articles? I mean, what you say is valuable
    and everything. But think of if you added some great images or videos to
    give your posts more, “pop”! Your content is excellent but with pics and video clips, this website could undeniably
    be one of the best in its niche. Wonderful blog!

  43. Ces artfiϲles sont incontestɑblement attractifs

    Feel free tto surf to my web site lesbiennes sexy

  44. It’s remarkable to visit this site and reading the views of all friends on the topic of this paragraph, while I
    am also zealous of getting familiarity.


Leave a Reply

Published with support from Generation Progress. genprogress.org

Copyright © 2014 Claremont Port Side.